Do It Afraid

I’ve tried sitting down to write this blog so many times for everyone wanting to follow my journey and I’ve failed because every time I was trying to put eloquent words down about something really spiritual, and that’s just not how God’s trying to speak through me. The Father has actually been teaching me something quite simple but something I feel a lot of us struggle with simply because of our pride. Sometimes we are so stuck in our comfort that we miss out on being used for the Kingdom. At least it’s true for me. The purpose of writing this is not to preach at you or call you out but rather tell what God has been doing in my life in hopes that it encourages one of you to push your limits and get uncomfortable to find comfort in Him. 

 

So I joined the race about 5 months ago and since then God has really shown up and has been teaching me a heck of a lot. For me, stepping into a new season was really scary considering I hadn’t had experienced much change in my life. I’ve lived in the same house my whole life, gone to the same church since before I could walk, and went to the same school until my freshman year of high school. So like I said, not much change. Without even noticing I had gotten really comfortable with life. 

 

One thing I’ve learned that God’s really good at is testing your comfort. For me, I had been wanting to go on the race for years but I wasn’t truly prepared for everything it encompassed. Last week I had the incredible opportunity to fly out to Gainesville, Georgia to spend a few days at boot camp with my amazing squad. I met my entire squad and our amazing leadership team and got to sit under the teachings of some amazing mentors. It was refreshingly overwhelming in the sense of being utterly consumed in the presence of the Holy Spirit and in deep relationship with Jesus filled community. It sparked excitement and passion for Jesus that I haven’t had in a while.

 

Boot camp was incredible and opened my eyes to a deeper relationship with Him, but it also revealed the realities of what it means to be a world racer. It means starting mission right now, at home, with people living across the street. I thought my mission would start September 11th when I leave, but that could not be farther from the truth. My mission is here, today….and that’s hard. It’s easy to tell people you’re going across the world to tell people about Jesus who live in poverty and have nothing else besides Jesus to depend on, but it’s hard to tell your neighbor about Jesus and be set apart from your friends when you want to “fit in.” It’s uncomfortable but I’m going to do it anyway because I want to have that random conversation in a coffee shop with someone who God intentionally put there for me to encourage or be encouraged by. I don’t wanna miss out anymore on encounters orchestrated by heaven. He is so intentional and it’s beautiful, but you gotta get a little uncomfortable first to experience it. 

 

Not only am I called to be uncomfortable but I  am called to full surrender of everything I’ve ever known and every comfort of home I’ve ever had. It means sleeping in a tent on uneven ground and hiking 2 miles in 30 minutes with a backpack the size of a sixth grader on your back (iykyk lol). It’s honestly really scary to imagine living on mission every day with a full schedule of ministry every day. I can’t help but think of my physical and spiritual limits. It’s scary to think about how I only have two and a half months with my family and friends and then leaving them for 9 months. There’s so much uncertainty of living in foreign countries with 30 something young adults. It’s overwhelming to think about at times and can lead to anxious thoughts but all the more reason to be confident in His plan because He is in control. 

 

So looking back, boot camp opened my eyes to the opportunities of the race and it also revealed the harsh realities of it. Both are amazing because God interrupts fear with faithfulness. Something I’ve been living by this past year has been when something is hard, uncomfortable, and even scary is to just do it afraid. If we know that God has called us to something and still we fear the unknown, do it anyway because if it’s God’s will He will carry you through. We are called to obedience not to qualification. Simply obey the Father and He will take care of the rest. 

 

So here I am, completely and totally afraid to get on a plane to Georgia and leave behind everything I know in order to chase after God and to do His work with His people. And although I’m afraid I’m gonna do it anyway because ya know what? He is good. He is SO good. He is faithful and He keeps His promises. He’s going to take care of me and carry me on the days where I am exhausted, homesick, and feel like giving up. And I hope my journey of doing it afraid will encourage you to do that thing you’ve been scared to do because you’re a little afraid, but you’ll do it anyway because you trust in His goodness and in His plan.